If I Could Be Where You Are
by Tigressa101
Summary: Queen Kiara thinks about Tigressa's banishment to the unknown. (Title and lyrics based on song by Enya)


Queen Kiara peered up at the blue sun as it filled the portion of the black starry sky where it lied with a contrasting dark violet aura. Normally, the blue sun would only appear at night like right now but at times, it came up nearby the golden sun during the day, creating a green aura instead of its signature purple twilight setting. It seemed to move faster than the second sun hence why it crossed paths with the daylight. It reminded her of Tigressa and how she was mostly but could have been otherwise.

Tigressa was the blue sun; Kiara was the yellow-orange sun. The night and day that would never be together. While Tigressa did kept solitary and was one of few who had the abilities of darkness, she once showed promise to be the next ruler of Kanjis. But she kept retreating down a much more sinister ideology which made her secluded from the light, from the Queen. Sometimes the Queen felt as if she and her mate had turned their backs on Tigressa at one point and casted a shadow so great, the only thing Tigressa could follow was the darkness.

 _Where are you this moment?_

The past was not changeable now, so it was time to move on. But the Queen couldn't help but wonder where Tigressa was at this moment of sorrow and regret. Did she miss her mother as much as her mother misses her?

 _Only in my dreams._

She could envision Tigressa sitting on a planet, calm and pondering what to do next. If she could take a chance, she would sit there with her daughter in peace, explaining herself and comforting Tigressa as the world around them drifted away into nothing.

 _You're missing, but you're always a heartbeat from me._

She could feel a bit of Tigressa's grief and anger, not that she could truly push the blame to the younger. Her bond with her children was stronger than any force in the Universe which allowed her to see into their emotions at times so dire. Tigressa's was the loudest of all but not towards her, towards Prometheus himself.

 _I'm lost now without you._

When she had watched as all her babies were banished from Kanjis, she cried as each child lost was a stab to her spark, her senses, and her mind. Losing Tigressa was the biggest puncture that never came close to becoming a scar, still open for the world to see. Her banishment weighed heavy on the Queen to the point where she was no longer the joyous, perfect ruler Kanjis had. She had lost her hope and her happiness.

 _I don't know where you are._

She admittedly didn't know whether Tigressa was among this realm or in another dimensional plane of forsaken existence. Would she have to suffer knowing Tigressa died there alone? Would she never see her baby again? Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she watched the blue sun darken when a cluster of clouds covered its view of the mourning city.

 _I keep watching, I keep hoping, but time keeps us apart._

Was it foolish to still hold hope at this time? Queen Kiara studied the stars, her eyes tracing constellations upon its atmospheric surface. She could anywhere on any planet in any galaxy. Primus knows if she could ever find her way back. Kiara could only pray for that day to come, but even prayers seemed pointless.

 _Is there a way I can find you?_

She could just leave Kanjis and search on her own for all her children and take Tigressa back into her arms. She could risk life and limb to see her daughter again and apologize for everything that had happened. She could take her daughter in a massive hug and never let go again.

 _Is there a sign I should know?_

Everything went from bad to worse in the span of a year after her daughter was tossed into that wretched Rift Ring. The paranoia of her citizens was at an all-time high and Metal Head activity was being reported everywhere in the Serpent Sector as if the Universe was trying to tell her bringing Tigressa back, much less keeping her alive, was only going to shroud the galaxies into an even worse fit of panic and destruction. Was it wrong that Kiara was beginning to think it may be all worth the return of all her children, together again?

 _Is there a road I could follow to bring you back home?_

It was either the path of chaos or the path of annihilation. There weren't any other options to bring Tigressa back to Kanjis without Kanjis itself being stirred into a frenzy. Or maybe there was. Patience was a virtue not to be underestimated and perhaps the key to the situation at hand. If she could wait for everyone to calm down, she could fetch Tigressa and her siblings from deep space and bring them home. Hopefully, the time would also heal Tigressa too.

 _Winter lies before me._

The cold breeze of the season was getting to her, chilling her like how she found out how many people Tigressa had killed to satisfy her blood lust driven by the need to take control of the world for her abominations. Those memories left her stunned and saddened that she didn't seek to counsel her daughter when she had the chance.

 _Now you're so far away._

In mental and physical form, Tigressa had lost her way. Her sense of direction, love, and selflessness was now her bane. To the Queen, the orange and black tiger-dragon was already far gone from the femme she birthed and raised. It was too late to save her from the Pit. When she did return home, would she still be this far gone?

 _In the darkness of my dreaming, the light of you will stay._

As much as it aggrieved Kiara, the only dreams she could reenact of her eldest daughter always turned miserable and deadly. Often, they housed the visions of the dead and dying on a blood stained battlefield. But thankfully, most of the memories of youngling Tigressa were still uncorrupted by the new. When the dreams woke her up, she would play those sweet memories to take away the pain and suffering.

 _If I could be close beside you._

Queen Kiara hesitantly brought out an amulet from her subspace compartment in her chest. A dragon-like symbol stood in the middle of it, shining still despite its age. It was a necklace her daughter wore when she was a youngling that represented their family bond. When she found Tigressa again, this would be her gift to her eldest child. A welcoming gift she hoped her baby would accept and put the past behind them.

 _If I could be where you are._

Clutching the amulet in her servo, she looked back up to the sky and saw the clouds had vanished. The blue sun gave a slight glimmer as if it acknowledged her presence. Somewhere out there Tigressa roamed, neither remembered or forgotten entirely. There is where Kiara would find her.

 _If I could reach out and touch you._

She could imagine bringing her servo to cup the younger tiger-dragon's face in reassurance and love, showing her child she would always be there for her even in the darkest of times. But that would be a lie, wouldn't it? She couldn't take Tigressa's side during the battles held on Kanjis because that would be standing against her citizens and morals. Even worse, Tigressa would know she would have to lie as she held her daughter close and promised her so imprudently.

 _And bring you back home._

Would Tigressa even bother to accept her invitation to come home after everything Kiara and her planet has done to her? To be fair, Tigressa did start a grand majority of it but still that twenty percent of error belonged to all of Kanjis including the Queen herself. The only way to bring her home would probably be by force, but then Kiara would be no better than Tigressa or the Metal Heads. After all, they took everything from her including her eldest daughter.

 _Is there a way I can find you?_

Obsession, that was what turned beings like Tigressa into what they were currently. So to be obsessed with finding her daughter, Queen Kiara would have no choice but to become what she and many others wished to avoid. Was that the price of tracking her family? With no hope left, what else could really be done?

 _Is there a sign I should know?_

The price to be reunited with Tigressa would mean giving up on Kanjis' citizens, giving up on her mate, even giving up on her role as Queen. The trust would leave too no doubt. Or she could leave Tigressa behind for good and elude losing everything else, or what was left of everything else. Something needed to be done but it required not reverting Tigressa back to her original mind. It was mandatory to forget about her once and for all.

 _Is there a road I can follow, to bring you back home to me?_

She was sorrier than ever but it was decided. Tigressa could not return now and Queen Kiara could not waste precious time looking for her, converting her back to that angel she raised not too long ago. If there was a way, it surely didn't want to make itself known. Patience was a virtue but not a savior. The only hope she could fathom to think up was that Tigressa knew she still loved her as much as a star shines bright. She didn't want it to seem like she was abandoning her entirely, only physically. There were no more chances that could be sacrificed now.

The blue sun didn't seem as kind to her as she had seen moments previously. She deserved it though, she would admit that much. She could only look at the stars as they faded to a dull sparkle, Kanjis' two moons mostly just shadows in the night sky. If only it was easy to be together again.

* * *

 **AN: Song lyrics belong to Enya. I had to make this a little more realistic than normal as I really don't think two powerful beings like Queen Kiara would throw the crown and the people they were sworn to protect down in favor of redeeming someone like Tigressa regardless if she is their child or not. So yeah, it's a bit harsh on their relationship but it was extremely common in high class families. This ain't no Disney suite I'm editing here, unfortunately.**


End file.
